Unperfect Read online

  “You alright, lass?” His voice was low and gentle and his scowl had faded into that slightly panicky, concerned look that he had been prone to recently. Why he came to visit I had no idea. In the HDU I hadn’t really been up to talking so he’d just stood next to the bed with his hands shoved in his pockets, before demanding a progress report from the staff. I think most people were under the impression he was my boyfriend. An assumption that was so far from reality that I had trouble getting my head around it.

  At the time, I didn’t see why Max was so interested and doubted he’d stick around for that long anyway, so it was a surprise when he became a daily visitor. So far I’d been too out of it and sick to really question why he was doing all of this. Maybe he got this involved with any staff member that was sick? Maybe there was some sort of weird HR policy that had him visiting the hospital?

  Yesterday he’d brought Yaz and Verity with him. Yaz gave me an amber necklace meant to draw out all my negative energy from my chest. Verity, being on the slightly more practical end of the spectrum, brought me fruit and books. Max hadn’t brought me anything, other than the private room of course. I hadn’t had the energy to argue over that either.

  “I’m fine,” I muttered, and his hand dropped away. For some reason the loss of his warmth made my stomach tighten. I straightened and wiped the tears from under my eyes before tucking my hair behind my ears. It had grown to almost shoulder length now. I was desperate to cut it again, but didn’t trust myself not to do another hatchet job in the process. My funds definitely didn’t extend to going to the hairdresser. Although, that would change soon. The domestic violence team told me I could open a bank account at HSBC without a permanent address. Apparently it was one of the only places women staying at the refuge could open an account, as you weren’t allowed to give out the refuge address. Once I did that, I could finally give Mary a place to deposit my salary. I was about to pick up my bag when Max stepped forward, his large hand closed over one of the straps and he swung it up onto his shoulder.

  “Where are you going?” he asked again.

  I looked from my bag to his face and it was my turn to frown.

  “I’ve been discharged. My chest is getting better now with just the tablet antibiotics. I don’t need to be here anymore.”

  “Right.”

  “Right.” I reached for my bag on his shoulder only to have him take a step back.

  “Uh, so I kind of need my bag.”

  “Do you have somewhere you can stay?” he asked, his too-intelligent eyes assessing me now. And that was when I realised.

  He knew.

  I closed my eyes and pressed my lips together, hoping that if I wished hard enough Max would disappear and I would not have to have the inevitably humiliating exchange we were about to have. Of course, with my current luck, when I opened them he was still there, but now his arms were crossed and he was sporting a stubborn expression.

  I cleared my throat and shoved my meagre toiletry supply back into its small bag, as I felt my shoulders tense up and rise towards my ears in a defensive gesture.

  “Of course I do,” I told him, risking a glance up at his face. His expression was calculating now.

  “Okay,” he said slowly. “I’ll drive you.”

  “N-no!” His eyebrows flew up and I realised I was shouting. I clenched my fists at my sides and made a concerted effort to calm my voice. “I mean, thanks, but I don’t need a lift anywhere. So …”

  He shrugged. “It’s Sunday. I’m not doing owt. No sense in you getting a taxi.”

  “Oh, all packed? That was quick.”

  Shit. Carol again.

  “I really think you’d be better staying so that-”

  “I’m leaving, Carol.”

  Carol sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I can’t stop you leaving but you do know you’ve got to take things easy for the next few weeks, right?” Carol asked, shooting Max a quick smile.

  Carol liked Max. “Just like my Barry,” she’d said yesterday. “Gruff and hard on the outside, but inside – marshmallow and kitten fur.” That had made me think of Nate. His exterior was so smooth and charming, but there was no warning of the ice beneath. “Nice arse too,” she’d added, and I’d rolled my eyes.

  “Yes Carol,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Regular meals wouldn’t go amiss either,” she put in, narrowing her eyes at me. Turns out pneumonia was a killer on the appetite. Combine that with the previous weight lost and you had my current near-skeletal form. Not the best look. And to top it all off some of my hair had fallen out in the shower yesterday. I was turning into some sort of mangy, underfed dog. I was about to reply when the door banged open again.

  “Hello Mia, Max.”

  Bloody double shit. I couldn’t catch a break around here.

  “Hi, Dr Firth,” I muttered, hoisting my bag onto my shoulder in preparation for my getaway.

  “Call me Becky,” she said as she pulled my chart off the nightstand and studied it.

  “No fever in two days, CRP and white cell counts coming down. Good stuff. I just–”

  “Great,” I cut in, taking a small step towards the door. “I mean, thanks. You really didn’t have to come in on a Sunday. I’m sorry I–”

  “I know I didn’t need to come in. There’s an on call team. But Max gave me a ring and I was on my way to Homebase anyway.”

  I paused before taking another step.

  “Homebase?”

  “It’s on the industrial estate just past the hospital. I need some compost and some slug pellets.”

  “You called her?” I asked Max and he shoved his hands back into his pockets.

  “You hadn’t been given the all clear to leave. I didn’t think we should take any chances. Heath and Becky are mates so he gave me her number.”

  What was happening? Max didn’t think ‘we’ should take any chances? Since when were my problems his problems? I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off my Dr Compost and Slug Pellets.

  “I’d be happy for you to leave, Mia,” she said softly. “If you have someone at home to keep an eye on you. Otherwise I really, really think you’d be better staying in for another twenty-four hours at least. Carol told me about the shower incident.”

  Traitor. The unrepentant Carol gave me a wide smile.

  I took in Dr Firth’s sincere, caring expression and then let my bag slip off my shoulder and onto the bed. She was right. I was too weak to look after myself properly. I did need another day at least of meals I didn’t have to forage for myself and proper rest. The shower incident was proof of that.

  “Okay, okay,” I muttered, suddenly feeling really silly for causing all this fuss on a Sunday. “I’ll stay another night.’

  *****

  Max

  I watched Mia sitting on the bed next to her pathetic rucksack, a look of complete dejection taking over her expression.

  “I-I’m sorry to cause all this hassle. I didn’t mean for …” she trailed off, looked down at her shoes and tucked her hair behind her ears. “I just hate hospitals,” she whispered. I felt something shift in my chest, almost like it was cracking open.

  “She’s coming home with me,” I said, my gruff voice making it sound more like a threat than an offer of help. Mia’s head snapped up. Carol beamed at me.

  “Ah, well that changes things.”

  “Okay,” Becky Firth said slowly, her eyes flicking between Mia and me. “You will feed her won’t you, Max?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I can cook, and I have a spare room.” In fact I had three spare rooms but Becky didn’t need to know that. I shrugged. “It won’t be a problem.”

  Mia was still sitting on the bed, but her wide eyes were fixed on me now.

  “You don’t have to do that,” she muttered. “I can stay here … or I can speak to my-” She broke off and bit her lip.

  “Your …?”

  She shook her head. “No, sorry I wasn’t thinking straight. I … look
I’ll just stay and then …” she broke of again and her face flushed bright red. “Oh bollocks,” she muttered. “You’re paying for the bloody room. I almost forgot.”

  “The business is paying,” I lied. It was totally me, but I didn’t want to look weird. “And it’s fine. It’s … uh … tax deductable.”

  “Wh–”

  “But you don’t like it here and you don’t have to stay here.” My voice was rising. Watching Mia hooked up to all those drips and machines just days ago and now seeing her so dejected at the prospect of staying in this place was getting to me. “I have a huge house. Loads of spare bloody rooms and a fridge full of food. Of course I can–”

  “What’s your security system like?” Mia asked, her expression carefully blank.

  “My security? Well … I have electric gates with a tannoy, an alarm system which I activate with a code. And an Alsatian.”

  Her eyes were wide again for a moment, but then, to my shock, she smiled.

  Chapter 15

  She can stay

  Mia

  Screw the refuge and screw the bed and breakfast.

  I was going to stay in a house with a goddamn gate, an alarm system and a motherfucking Alsatian. Then maybe the sick fear I’d been carrying since Nate’s visit to the office would recede. I couldn’t go to my sister. Nate would find me there easily. I knew I should tell Max the whole situation, but I just needed a break. Once I was stronger, just a little stronger, then I would tell him. If he kicked me out then I would still have a chance at the refuge. With my strength back and my wits about me I’d be much more likely to be able to evade Nate. To be honest, I knew that in reality I’d have to move on again soon, especially now that Max was involved in one of Nate’s projects. But I also knew how hard it was to set up a life in a new area with next to no resources. It was not an option I was over keen on at the moment.

  We stopped outside some stainless-steel gates, which opened automatically. I leaned forward as we drove into the drive and blinked up at the beautiful structure in front of us. It was set back from the road and the top floor had glass from floor to ceiling. The building was clad in some sort of weathered wood and as I got out of the car I realised that the multilevel roof was covered in moss, grass and wild flowers.

  “Wow,” I breathed the same time that Max muttered, “Bugger.”

  He was staring at another small electric car in the driveway.

  The size of Max’s car had been a bit of shock to me. I was surprised that he managed to fold his huge frame into it at all. Max turned back to me and his large hand went to rub the back of his neck.

  “Listen, Teddy’s here. I thought he was staying with a friend tonight. I haven’t told him you’re coming so …” He sighed. “He can be a bit–”

  “Who’s Teddy?” I asked, peering around Max to look up at the front door. Another sigh.

  “Teddy is my … well he’s kind of my stepson.”

  That statement hit me like a solid blow to the chest.

  Max had a kind of stepson.

  He probably had a wife in there too.

  I took a step back but noticed the gates behind me were closing again.

  “Your stepson?” I asked, my voice coming out in a squeak. Disappointment washed over me like a familiar blanket. Which was ridiculous.

  “Max?” A deep voice called out from the house. I could see the doorway was now open and almost entirely filled by a massive, male figure with a large, black dog at his side. The dog emitted a low growl and I fought the instinct to take another step back.

  “Hey, Ted,” Max said, turning from me and jogging up the steps to the hulking man in doorway. “Listen something came up and I … I mean we’ve got a houseguest for a bit.” I’d never heard Max sound so hesitant. “Uh … Mia, come up here and meet Teddy.” The dog growled again as I took a tentative step forward. “Don’t mind Roger. He’s fine once he gets used to you. Keep sudden movements to a minimum though.” As I got closer I could see that part of Roger’s ear was missing. “He’s a rescue,” Max explained. “The people at the centre think he was beaten by his old owners, so he’s a bit skittish.”

  “It’s Ted, not Teddy,” the large boy-man put in with a sullen voice as he crossed his arms over his massive chest and continued to block the doorway.

  Okay, so not a child then.

  “Hi,” I said from behind Max. “I’m Mia.”

  “You’ve brought a woman back to stay here?” Teddy’s voice rose and I took a small step back. “Nice one, Max.”

  “Would you try not to be so bloody rude and stop with this ‘Max’ bollocks. You used to–”

  “Whatever,” huffed Teddy, shouldering past his stepfather then giving me a wide berth as he made his way to his tiny car. Rodger started to follow him but Teddy waved him back. The great dog settled at Max’s feet to have his ears stroked. “Don’t ask me. It’s not like I’ve got the biggest exams of my life coming up or anything. A per bloody usual nobody really gives a shit about me.” Ted folded himself into the car in another feat of large-men-folk-human-contortion. Before the door slammed shut I heard him mutter, “Arsehole”. He shot his Max another foul look before he started the engine.

  When the gates were closing behind him Max sighed again.

  “I’m not sure that–” I began.

  “Don’t mind Teddy,” Max cut in. “He’s being a little bastad to everyone at the moment. Believe me.”

  Little? The boy was well over six foot. I hitched my bag up higher onto my shoulder and tore my eyes away from the closing gates.

  “He does seem a bit cross,” I said as I followed Max and Rodger into the house. Max let out a bark of laughter as he led me through to the kitchen.

  “Ha! Yes, a bit cross doesn’t quite cover it I’m afraid. For the last six months he’s been like an aggressive Eeyore on steroids. Sorry, I should have warned you about him. But to be honest he’s either up in his room, or eating everything in my fridge in under five seconds, so you won’t have to see much of him anyway.” He led me up the stairs, which appeared to be floating in midair through the centre of the house. The living space was double-height, with the first floor landing looking down on the kitchen-living area. It was so bright in there. Light poured in from the glass walls and even from light wells in the roof above, bouncing off the clean, white, almost clinical interior.

  “I didn’t know you were married,” I said as I followed him up onto the first floor landing. “Is your wife–?”

  “Rebecca and I never married, but we were together for eight years. She left ’bout a year ago now.” He shrugged. “Had enough of me, I guess. Headed up t’London. Always was a bit boring for her down here to be honest.” Before I could ask why Teddy wasn’t in London with his mother, Max stopped in the corridor and pushed open a door into what most would consider a lovely room.

  “This okay?”

  I ignored the king-sized bed with fluffy duvet covered with white cotton sheets and I focused on the glass. Wall to ceiling windows. I would not be able to sleep in here.

  But I managed to force a small smile onto my face.

  “Wow,” I said, hoping I’d mustered as much enthusiasm as the room deserved. “This is great.”

  Max was frowning at me again.

  “The remote for the telly is on the side table. There’s an en suite with towels in. Yaz stocked it up with some stuff – I hope you like essential oils.”

  His sister stocked the guest room?

  “Er … is there anyone else–?”

  “It’s just me and Teddy.”

  “Right.”

  He opened his mouth to say something, shut it again and then spun on his heel to leave, muttering something about sorting supper.

  *****

  Mia

  “Hey, lady?”

  I heard a muffled voice just beyond the wardrobe door and flinched. Somebody was moving around the bedroom. Somebody with very heavy footfalls. I gripped my book tightly in my lap, dropped the phone I had been u
sing as a light to read the pages and froze. Before I could react the door was wrenched open and light poured in, blinding me for a moment.

  “You’re reading,” a deep voice told me, and I blinked against the light to focus on the large figure’s face. Fear was clogging my ability to speak. “In a wardrobe.” I blinked again and managed to adjust my vision enough to see it was Teddy. My hands relaxed their death grip on the book and I let out a slow relieved breath.

  “Hi,” I said once the silence had become uncomfortable. Teddy was frowning down at me, but the sullen expression from before had been replaced by open confusion. I guess anybody would find a woman choosing to sit in a dark wardrobe and read with artificial light from her phone when she had an entire massive bedroom at her disposal weird.

  “Why are you in a wardrobe?” he asked.

  “I like the quiet?”

  Teddy opened the door wider. “Yeah, cause it’s absolute bedlam out here,” he said. “Ram jam.” He tilted his head to the side and lapsed into a deliberate silence, during which I heard one faint bout of birdsong and one car passing in the far distance. I pushed up from the small nest of pillows I’d made on the ground and another head rush hit me as I made it to my feet. I had to hold onto the doorframe for support.

  “Shit,” Teddy muttered, his hand moving to catch me should I fall and then withdrawing when he saw I was okay. He was looking less and less hostile and more unsure of himself now. “Whoa, you … er, are you alright?”

  I gave him a small smile. Maybe he acted like ‘Eeyore on steroids’ most of the time, but I was willing to bet there was a sweet boy buried under the layers of teenage arseholdom.

  “I’m fine. Thanks though.”

  He moved away from the door to let me pass, scuffing his feet and shoving his hands into his pockets. “Dad …” He shook his head in a jerky motion as if to clear it. “I mean, Max says you’ve been sick.”